I wish

I Wish I didn't need loneliness

it's hard to explain what that means

You Probably think you have something to do with it

it's hard to explain that you don't

I Wish I didn't need you to leave

it's hard to explain that i want you 

You Probably think I am using you 

it's hard to justify why i am

I Wish I didn't need you to stay

it's hard to explain that i want to be alone 

You Probably think that I am using you

it's hard to say that I'm not

I Wish I didn't need companionship

it's hard to explain what that means

A Need to

When you are

Thirsty

Water tastes a lot like

Milk

A Drink to Forget

Forgetful of what 

childhood brought

small babies being

who they could only be

I had a drink to forget

and remember

Forgetful of what

adolescence brought

small children being

who we could only be

Parties

Many

and many and many

of who we could only be

I had a drink to forget

and remember

Forgetful of what

adulthood brought

and why wouldn't

I Break

the things i had done before and

before and before and 

before

parties and parties and small

adults being who we could only be 

and only be and only be

I don't drink to forget or 

to forget or remember

or to forget

I drink to

I forget

 

 

I don't guess

 

There is only love

 

I have done much

Hurt Stained Lied 

Bitten Taken and all of that

but I don't Guess

that's what you guess I am

I am probably

Brother

Son

Friend

Lover

All of which is forgivable

but I Don't Guess

that's who I am to you

I am

There is only love

Who's to say I'm not with you

There once was a love

Blonde

Sweet

Religious

She taught

the should've chance

Love

the first time

I didn't mean to be so rough

(It's my fault)

I didn't mean to not comfort

Love

the void which may not bind

There once was a love

Black Haired

Goth

Athiest

She taught

the never chance

Love

the first time

I didn't mean to be so callous

(It's my fault)

I didn't mean to be so cruel

Love

the void which shouldn't bind

There once was a love

Brunette

Intangible

she was a religion

She taught

the almost chance

Love

the first time

I didn't mean to be so young

(It"s my fault)

I didn't mean to be so immature

the void that I wish could bind

I love her all

That is to say

I Love Her All

 

 

Nothing to See Here

There is not a lot

to see

When you look

to your leaders

Every single one of us

is a small 

scared

terrified

Person who takes you

Into the fold

We all think

Who will bring us unto victory?

Who will bring us unto glory?

It turns out

its the worst of us

Follow us

We're here to

well

we're here

 

writing under the influence

Dear Bottle,

I am utterly alone. 

My favorite company is you which pushes me away from all the things I wish to hold dear.

I have nothing to say.

Let's get that clear.

You have made me :

Happy Sad (drunk)

Jealous Content (drunk)

Full of Rage and Forgiving (drunk)

Empty of Feeling and Full of Grace (drunk)

Full of Life and Ready to Die (drunk)

Religious and Irreverent (drunk)

Clairvoyant and Opaque (drunk) 

tired

(drunk)

tired

Gregarious and Ambivalent (drunk)

Paranoid and At Ease (drunk)

Ready and Fearful (drunk)

Steady and Shaky (drunk)

tired

very

(drunk)

tired

Dear Bottle,

I am utterly

(drunk)

alone.

I have nothing at all to say.

Dear Bottle,

I am 

(drunk)

here to stay and I want to hear what you have to say.

All of the above and Winter and Summer as well

you have provided and taken away and when I awake all is well

All of the above and Fall and Autumn And When The Leaves Fall As Well

I can't remember

(drunk)

the season I last lived without your blessing

please continue

I haven't asked you to leave, dear bottle.

(drunk)

 

 

 

why would I bother trying?

 

To get to the beginning of all of this, let's all assume a mutual meeting ground of our minds. Let's just assume you've been everywhere and always where my memories have been,
I mean
who hasn't? After all, let's let assumptions determine.
Anyways, I have nothing to say. Let's get that clear.
Nothing that I want to or need to say will change anyone or anything at all ever... I mean why would it.
 
theres nothing to see here
 
I HAVE NEVER MADE AN IMPACT
 
 
 
i used to be a kind person
 
one who wouldn't.
 
i miss those days
 
Today I used a BAC calculator to determine how much I could drink and not get in trouble when i turned into my other self
if they needed my breath
I don't need to drink.
The cripple doesn't need a crutch.
we can a l w a y s f a l l and
who doesn't
need a drink?
 
please move along
 
I HAVE NEVER MADE
 
Yesterday I didn't use a BAC calculator because no one would breathalyze me.
I received high marks for my performance during a graded evolution
from people high in my chain of command. I hoped
they didn't smell my breath the entire time. Imagine if
I cared.
I often do.
 
I HAVE NEVER
Never Have I ever been too sober to want to get drunk.
I Have Always been too drunk to want to get sober
ha ha ha
It only hurts when I laugh
 
no o n e asked you to be here
 
I HAVE
 
I washed my sheets and clothes for the first time in weeks
(months?
two days ago
and i love the way
i can't believe
that they feel betweeen)
 
theres nothing to see here
 
I
HAVE
 
There are cries for help and there are lives of
 
well
 
whatever it is i have
 
i asked you to leave